Being a all-rounder is bloody hard

Surviving a week of building circuit boards, African Musical instruments and refreshing the memory on Grade 4 and 7 maths, you sometimes ask yourself, "what is school all about these days?", how do they expect the kids to perform when they do this kind of work at such a young age!

In Grade 7 (for the people who went to proper school, Std 5), we still played touches, marbles or Kings, we ran around school and had a blast. There was no such a thing as letters of the alphabet in maths, x was a letter that you knew about and seldom used, there was no solving of its problems and tangents to the best of my knowledge was a swear word, until at least std 6!
Sport was something you did when school came out and holidays equated to fun, there was no such a thing as "pre-season preparation" or "off season conditioning" we had cricket in the summer, rugby in the winter and somewhere in between there was athletics.
I had no need to know the history of Tap-Dancing, Jan van Riebeeck was still a hero and not a criminal, and sexual education was knowledge shared in a secret place when somebody heard or saw something and was then treated like "the man" because he knew more than the others! In many a man of my age the Scope played a important part of growing up, I still remember when I saw the first girl topless I thought she was disabled because there was no stars!

But alas, times have changed, today parents drop their kids at the mall with a credit card or some cash to go and watch a "movie", and then they are very surprised if their 12 year old child become sexually active or gets hooked on drugs!
Parents feel that its the responsibility of the school to teach their children social skills, they feel that they work hard  and "deserves a break", as a parent myself, believe me it also crossed my mind, but then I started to observe my kids carefully, and to my shock (no actually I felt very good about it). I saw that kids "absorbs" their homes!

Kids sees the parents always having a drink when socializing, and then make the connection that
socializing =  alcohol consumption,
they see how sometimes we "lie" to our friends and then make the connections,
friendship = backstabbing,
they see how parents bring stationary from work and then make the connection,
work = freebees,
These are just some examples, I'm sure you can add to this, but my point is they learn all their bevahiour from us, the parents!

This brings me to my promise.
When my eldest daughter was born, I made a promise to her and myself, that she will never see me in a state where I was not in control or could not handle a situation.
Now that had a bigger influence on my life than I thought at the time! So for the past 13 years I don't have more than 3 drinks, I work hard to provide for the family, I am involved in the school activities and sport, and try to be a good husband (but sometimes the TV just makes it so damb difficult) and I try to listen.

In our house we don't tell our children the story of Icarus, we believe they must try to reach the sun, we try to guide and influence through being examples instead of telling them what to do.
When a problem arises we ask them how they think they should deal with it, and then "edit" the response.
Its hard work because we see the flaws in our personalities in the way our kids behave, and that is a shocking reality!
So next time your kids does something that shocks you, try not to blame the school, friends or society, first do some introspection you'll be amazed at what you will find!


Well till next time.